Psychotic P***y Podcast
Just two sisters discussing women’s mental and physical health. It's not only our hobby, but our careers. We want to shed light on important topics & teach people new things every episode.
Psychotic P***y Podcast
Escape, Reconnect, Recharge: Why Moms Need Retreats
What if mothers had a retreat designed exclusively for them, where every detail was handled, where experts helped them reconnect with themselves, and where they could form genuine connections with other women navigating the same journey? That's exactly what therapist, Marissa Volinsky, has created with Off-Duty: A Mom's Retreat, a revolutionary retreat launching April 2026 in Stone Harbor, New Jersey.
Motherhood, despite its many joys, can be profoundly isolating. Even surrounded by family and friends, mothers often struggle with their identity beyond being "mom," battling body image concerns, feeling overwhelmed, and experiencing relentless guilt whenever they prioritize themselves. Off-Duty addresses these universal challenges through a carefully curated experience combining professional guidance with genuine relaxation.
Unlike family vacations (which Marissa aptly describes as "parenting in a different destination"), this retreat allows mothers to temporarily step away from responsibilities and rediscover themselves. With workshops led by a licensed therapist, a pelvic floor specialist, and a registered dietitian, participants receive valuable tools for sustainable self-care. The intimate setting—limited to just 12 women—fosters meaningful connections, creating what Marissa calls a "village sisterhood" where vulnerable conversations flow naturally and lasting friendships form.
The retreat's coastal location at The Reeds provides the perfect backdrop for activities ranging from yoga and sunset cruises to spa treatments and empowering group ceremonies. Every detail is meticulously planned, allowing participants to simply show up and be present—perhaps the greatest luxury for someone accustomed to managing everyone else's needs.
Ready to fill your cup and return to your family as a more grounded, present version of yourself? Follow @off_duty_mom_retreats on Instagram or visit offdutyretreats.com to secure your spot. Early registrants receive $200 off, but spaces are limited and filling quickly. Remember: taking time for yourself isn't selfish —it's essential.
Disclaimer: This podcast represents the opinions of Dr. Bridget Melton, MD and licensed therapist Marissa Volinsky, MS, LPC, NCC. The contents of our podcast and website should not be taken as medical advice. The contents of our podcast and website are for general informational purposes only, and are not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any condition or disease or substitute for medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental health professional, or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before starting or discontinuing treatment.
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a crisis, please reach out immediately to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741. These services are free and confidential.
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Hello and welcome to Psychotic PY Podcast. That's our intro song for today, because we still don't have one and we probably never will. Welcome guys. Psychotic PY, Season 3, Episode 7.
Speaker 1:Woo, I can't believe we made it here. I mean because there's only 10 episodes a season. That's crazy. No, season 7, I mean.
Speaker 2:Season 3.'s. Only 10 episodes a season. That's crazy. I know Season seven I mean season three. If we make it there, season three is coming to a close. We are in the fourth quarter now. But yeah, welcome guys. Thanks for tuning in. You're here with Bridget and Marissa, your girls. So today we are chit-chatting about Marissa's new business venture. She's going to dive in and give us a full intro and we're just going to chit-chat about that and a bit about mom guilt and, yeah, we're really, really excited to plug this. You've definitely seen it on our socials, so sorry. So, yeah, marissa, let's dive effing in.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, I obviously, as you know, am owner of of New Path Therapy and I do work primarily with a lot of women and mothers, and I've, honestly, as a mother myself too, have also been feeling this way. I feel like mothers do it all right, we're constantly juggling, or everything for the family, and even though, as generations go on, I would say we are married to better partners, in a sense that dads are more proactive and helpful, it still doesn't really take away how we feel when it comes to overstimulation, mom guilt, stressed out, struggling with our identity outside of mom. Like who were we? Like just wanting to feel like her again, also feeling comfortable in our now mom bods, as they'll call them right, like hard, hard Wait, I have a major interruption.
Speaker 2:Okay, sorry this is so off track, but I was walking with Theo today because it's finally like hot here Not even hot, sunny and 75. But you know good enough. So I was walking in my little like squirty athletic outfit. You know, mom has a matching one. I'm showing my sister right now here. Mom has a matching one. I'm showing my sister right now here the spandex. Um, and I was just, yeah, had that, my sweater over my shoulders, walking back pushing a stroller, like obviously have a kid, and I got cat called today and I was like we are back who was it by, though?
Speaker 2:like a construction worker old boys, two old guys in a car Did a little beep, beep. So I was like, oh, it must be like a Melton. Like you know, they all live near me. So I turned around like prepared to wave and then it was just like old, like late 60s maybe, like in a car and they're like yeah. And I was like, oh, my God, that is so funny.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, that is funny. Ted's going to lock you up now, now that he hears this.
Speaker 2:Immediately texted. Ted, I was like we are so back?
Speaker 1:Well, yes, obviously it's. It's a struggle. You know, your body is different after giving birth, Doesn't matter how many times you do it, or even if it's just once, or even if you're someone who has been struggling and you you've lost a child it's, you're still going through changes has been struggling and you've lost a child. You're still going through changes. So I just felt like it was time to expand the horizons and I have created Off Duty, a mom's retreat, and I'm really excited for its potential. It's going to be next April, April 24th to the 27th, 2026, in Stone Harbor, New Jersey, at the Reeds in Shelter Haven 27th uh 2026 in Stone Harbor, new Jersey, at the Reeds in Shelter Haven.
Speaker 2:Okay, so Marissa, tell us about off-duty, like what is its mission statement? What's its goal?
Speaker 1:Like what do you visualize for off-duty? A mom's retreat? So I visualize having that village sisterhood that I feel like a lot of moms lack. Motherhood is extremely isolating At least it was for me and it's weird because obviously, as you can attest, I have a large family, I have a good group of friends, but yet motherhood is still isolating, and I couldn't explain why. My hormones were obviously trying to level out too, and that played a part in my emotions, and I just want to be there for those women the way that I wish someone was there for me.
Speaker 1:What makes this special, though because it's not just a vacation and a sisterhood right is that I'm bringing in experts so that these women can be properly cared for and can receive these services that maybe otherwise they wouldn't get.
Speaker 1:For instance, obviously I am a licensed therapist, and you're going to get two workshops with me. I have my best friend, kimberly Santa-Serma, who is a certified coach for postnatal and perinatal support for your core and pelvic floor, and I feel like that's also not talked about enough and super important for mothers. And then I just actually booked today Annie Zapula, who is a registered dietitian, and she's going to talk about you know, how you can nourish your soul and not put you last because mothers are always on the go. Right, you're making sure everyone else has their vegetables and their three meals a day, plus snacks, but you forget about yourself and that may affect the way you feel about yourself. Like, are you gaining weight, you know? Are you dieting but you're plateauing? Do you just feel bloated and gross? So she's going to really just come in and explain what's the best way to take care of you.
Speaker 2:Amazing. I love the entire ethos that you're trying to put forward here. You know, when you were sitting one day thinking about what you needed, how did a retreat pop into your head?
Speaker 1:I was thinking, god, I need a damn vacation. I was like, god damn, mama needs alone time with some wine. I want to nap somewhere without people napping on me. I want to pee alone. I want a nice warm shower without like. I feel like when I shower now, even though my kids are older so it's a little better. But when they were younger they would come up, tap on the glass and it's cute, don't get me wrong Adorable, my heart melted, but at the same time it made me feel rushed, like I wasn't doing like my full shower where I feel great. Um, you know, there were so many times mama bear let her hair on her legs grow way too long, you know. Um, so I, I just was like whatever I just got to get out. My kids want me and it's not relaxing at this point. So I'm really looking forward to showering in peace.
Speaker 2:Yes, oh, my God. Uh, I totally understand the rush shower thing. It feels really good, like if they're dead to sleep. You're like, oh, I'm going to do a full shower. It's still in the back of your mind, you're not. You're like I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go, because once he's awake, then I have to do ABC. So it's like you have to truly be like in another building. You know what I mean. Like if Ted has Theo elsewhere, then you can like do what you want, and that's very rare. I feel like I don't know. I agree.
Speaker 1:Also, and also, what gave me this idea too, is I always noticed that I feel my best when I'm like with my best friend, kimmy, and like I'll go there for a weekend or she'll come with me and our husbands will make it so that when we're hanging out it's kid free.
Speaker 1:And we're just enjoying, you know, a fire pit wine, some charcuterie, just having that literally soul grounding, deep conversations where we stay up late, like we used to in college and high school. And I remember when I created this. I'm just thinking like I need that feeling. I want that feeling for these mothers, but with also self-care and professional workshops, you know, with led by professionals.
Speaker 2:So let's dive into that. What can we expect from the itinerary?
Speaker 1:So the itinerary has many things on it, so obviously the three professionals me being one of them that I just mentioned, there's yoga. There's, if weather dependent, will be a sunset cruise with cocktails. If the weather does not cooperate, it will either be a candle making class or painting and wine. We have our celebratory dinner at the end, which will be wine and beer paired with different courses. We have a fire pit opening ceremony, which will be I don't want to give too much away it's very empowering. We could have nature hikes. We can have spa services like facials and massages, just stuff like that. We're having a girl's lunch one day, which is a charcuterie making class paired with wine. Just honestly, I'm so excited about this and there's honestly more that I'm forgetting, but it's all on the website, of course. Offdutyretreatscom.
Speaker 2:It kind of sounds like the ultimate girls' trip, hanging out without the pressure of a batch.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, absolutely, absolutely, because I would say a bachelorette, they're fun, right, but it's really for the bride. You're still taking a backseat and it's like what the bride's feeling, and at any moment, if the bride wants to change the itinerary because she's not feeling up for it, you know the rest of the party has to be like okay, this is your trip, but this, this is different. This is about you. Everyone is the bride here everyone is the bride here.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that. Oh, everyone's the bride. Another thing that I'm getting this vibe is, like because the best thing about kids this is gonna make me sound really bad. It's like, you know, when they're asleep for like a long time and you miss them again. Yes, you're like well, I miss you.
Speaker 2:The best thing about kids, like, is when you're like I like to talk about them and I like to look at photos of them, but I don't always want to be on, I don't always want to be mommy, mommy, mommy. So it kind of is like you're hanging out with other moms to obviously your kids will come up guilt-free, because you know you don't always want to talk about your kids. If you're hanging out with childless friends because you're like I'm sorry, I don't want to be annoying. So it's everyone can like kind of guilt-free, talk about their kids, because it's like we're all doing it, we're all obsessed with our kids, but they're nowhere effing near you. So you also have like the freedom of like remember, like just being in high school and college and like doing whatever the heck you wanted with your time. Yes, that's amazing. I have not done that in so long because I can't do that with my time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Honestly, when you get to my stage with age range, you get to do more of that. And what I will tell you, it is just so refreshing and grounding and, like now that I can, I don't think I could go back. So that's why I feel like this is important for all women. They need to experience that. They need to really come back to their family, feel more whole, more present and, like you know, they can rock this motherhood thing Like they're not burned out.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, tell me about Stone Harbor, new Jersey. Like what's the vibe?
Speaker 1:Are we near the beach? What can I expect? So the Reeds is a actually very beautiful boutique hotel with no more than 52 rooms. Um, and it's, yes, it's on, uh, a beach location. It's an uh, did I say wedding place. No no, it's also a wedding venue. It's so beautiful, um, and it's very coastal, like coastal grandma vibes, I love it Ooh, nancy Meyers. Love that.
Speaker 2:Where the heck is good when the heck is. Stone Harbor Nancy Meyers Love that when the heck is good when the heck is Stone Harbor?
Speaker 1:It's I believe I looked this up, obviously, when I booked it 22 minutes north of Cape May. Ooh, okay, so not too far. No, no, not at all. So even if you get some time even longer away, you tell your husbands it's an extra day than it really is. You and the girls can go hit up Cape May after the retreat if you want know or atlantic city on the way up north yeah, let's do a little gambling, why not?
Speaker 2:very nice. Okay, love this. The location sounds amazing. Also, it's when is it again april 24th to the 27th 2026 okay. So we're talking late april vibes. The weather might be amazing, like it was this year, and even if it isn't, you get to just kind of like walk the beach in your sweater, your coastal grandma sweater, read a book. Is it going to be fully structured or will people have time to chill out and do whatever they want? Both?
Speaker 1:So what I mean by that is I do have a lot planned, but I have like unplugged hours and moments of silence with journaling that you can take time to yourself. Or if you end up getting a buddy on the retreat, like everything that the retreat includes, like bicycles and stuff like that kayaks, it's all included so you and your buddy can go off and do that if you want. Like this, there's no rules when you invest this time of you know, energy, money and time. I'm not going to micromanage how you enjoy this trip, but I do have some structure, because I also don't want people coming and being like I feel like there's no community. What am I paying for? So I will structure it for the community and have a lot of times where we get the groups together and just have good prompts and opening icebreakers, but absolutely you have moments of peace to yourself.
Speaker 2:Amazing. Will there be surprises along the way? Ie swag bags.
Speaker 1:Yes, so I don't want to give away too much, but you'll see it if you follow our Instagram at offdutymomretreats. There's a few underscores there. I'll tell you at the end how to correctly find it, but I have them coming now so I can't wait to upload it to our Instagram, cause I want to give a sneak peek of the swag boxes. I'll call them, cause that's what they are. Um, bridget, I showed you before. I know you were like give me one of those bitch.
Speaker 2:I'm really excited to give them to the ladies. Amazing, um. And what are you most excited for? Because this is your first time leading a retreat isn't it?
Speaker 1:Yes, a retreat of this nature. Yes, I'm excited because I am trying to expand what I do professionally and I want to make a difference. That's the biggest thing, and I feel like this speaks to me on a very personal level, and this is how I'm going to give back, love this.
Speaker 2:I'm so in, I want to be there so badly. You should come. I know I'm trying to make, I need to make that work. That's going to have to be like my April thing, yeah, if I don't have any weddings at that time because I'm like peak wedding age, but okay, so let's just like is there anything else you want to tell us about off duty?
Speaker 1:Um, well, I am trying to keep every retreat I do um limited availability in a sense, because if I do too many girls it's just too much. So I do want everyone to know that spots are limited. I'm only taking 12 girls a retreat and, um, there's not that many spots left.
Speaker 2:So if you're interested, get on that and is there early bird pricing?
Speaker 1:Yes, you get $200 off if you sign up in advance.
Speaker 2:That sounds amazing and remind us of the dates again.
Speaker 1:April 24th to the 27th 2026.
Speaker 2:Perfecto, everyone get there off duty. A mom's retreat and it sounds like, honestly, the best vacation you could ask for and someone's planned it for you, which, let's be honest, is something a mom does not want to do in their free time.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, I think that's the best part about this is, everything is planned. As long as all you do is you know, pay for it. You're, you're, you're good. I will make sure everything is planned out to a T, perfectly curated for you. You just have to show up.
Speaker 2:God, I love that. Let's talk about this mom guilt, Because you were telling before we started recording. You were saying that some people feel that they definitely want to want to retreat, but they just feel like they can't take that time away from their family.
Speaker 1:Yes, so it's. I understand there is a common theme that when people you know kind of look at the pricing and everything, they're like that's great. I can't believe that's all included, but I could spend that kind of money for a trip away with my husband or a family invitation and I feel guilty spending that money on just myself. I completely understand that and I even feel that way from time to time. I want everyone to know that as a normal emotion and reaction. But what you need to know is this Okay, this is just for you and it's important. This time is invaluable and it will make you a better mother.
Speaker 1:I'm more present, better grounded, relaxed, calmer person and it may feel like a bit selfish, but you're a mom and you're going to feel that way, but it isn't and it's no different than guys spending like a whole day away golfing for, like, I know it's supposed to be 18 holes but it really feels like 35. So you know what they. They're on top of their self-care game. They know a day away keeps the I don't know something away. It's just. It makes you a better person when you, I always like to say it's like the plain mass, oxygen mass situation. You can't help other people without helping yourself first. It really does fill your battery, fill your cup and make you a better mother.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was just going to say it's just like filling your cup. If you are on vacation with your family, that's amazing, but part of that is actually a sacrifice. You're going to enjoy a lot of it, of course, and the memories you make with either your husband or your children, or both. You're not going to regret them I'm not saying you will, but you might come home exhausted and now you're thinking, oh my God, all the kids' clothing is dirty, all my husband's sweaty T-shirts. It's just like it's not filling your cup. As great as vacations are for family bonding, they're kind of like a necessary evil, like you're still parenting, just not at home.
Speaker 1:I always say family vacations are parenting in a different destination. That's not a vacation, At least when you have young kids, like I get. Maybe when they're teenagers that's different. But you and I are at the stage where you still pack and unpack everything and lotion everybody up every day, make sure they're getting their healthy meals. It's, it's. It's a coordinating from hell, Like it's so much work.
Speaker 2:I mean even day trips. I'm at the stage like I only have one. But like a day trip, I genuinely am like, okay, what do I need to pack in this diaper bag? Like A through Z, like everything I need to pack and the contingency plans. Like A through Z, like everything I need to pack and the contingency plans, the food, everything. And I'm like, wow, I cannot imagine doing this Like, and Theo eats off our table, but it's just like it's so much you have to pack. So, yeah, anyone who feels guilty like, oh, I could be spending this time with my family, you absolutely can and you should. But to make memories with your family, you don't have to go away. You know what I mean. If you're thinking like it's one or the other, if you have young kids like they're just happy to spend time with you, oh yeah, you're their best friend.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, also, since you were talking about the chaotic nature of packing they do they do this, as you just have to pack for yourself. You don't have to worry about your husband forgetting his underwear, his toothbrush, what your kids need no diapers, no formula just yourself.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I would love to pack for myself. That sounds so good. Oh my God, ted and I have a wedding this weekend and obviously Theo's not going and the wedding is a little overnight away and I am like totally confused. I'm like am I just going to like wake up and like not have to worry about Theo?
Speaker 1:Yep, that's exactly what's going to happen, although that's when you'll scroll his videos and photos and be like I miss him.
Speaker 2:I know I'm actually like kind of nervous.
Speaker 1:It's fine, everything will be fine, and so will moms who go on this retreat. Yeah, everyone, it's yeah, just like you guys should fill your cup. I'm filling mine this weekend, absolutely, it's needed. I mean, honestly, anytime I spend away with you, mom, my best friends, even just it feels like, like you said, like, even if it's a day thing, I literally feel so much better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's, it's good when you have that like oh, I miss them again moment, because that's when you know you're not totally overstimulated when you're with them all day, every day. Let's say you have kids who are a bit too young for like daycare or something like that. You're still doing like a bit of a hybrid schedule. Wow, I know you pray for bedtime.
Speaker 1:You do, which I feel guilty in that, but then at the same time I'm like no, never mind.
Speaker 2:Go to bed? Definitely so, mom. Guilt is unavoidable, but the best way to cure that is to look after yourselves Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And just remember, dads don't get that shit oh my God, do you think they don't? I mean'm obviously, I'm sure they do, but it's just more common that they'll do boys trips, bachelor parties, golf days without you know. I mean like all that adds up if you think about it and they don't hesitate at all.
Speaker 2:Um, ted actually just went to france uh, it's just a weekend trip, so we didn't have him for like two or three days. Um, but booking it, uh, leading this was many, many months ago. His friend, tom, like was booking it with him and I was like, okay, so like I'm solo parenting for a weekend, like I'm not happy, and his friend was like he deserves it. I was like I was like if anyone deserves a mother effing trick, it's me. It drove me crazy, like it's something that really stuck with me. This was so many months ago, guys, and like anytime he's brought up, I'm just like I'm going to kill him.
Speaker 1:Did you send him a picture of your sore nipples? Your breasts sucked, nickel.
Speaker 2:No, but I should. It just really pissed me off. It's just like not something you should say about the dad. Unless the dad's a stay-at-home dad, then totally. But like I'm still on mat leave, so like I'm full-time mommy all day, every day. So like I was just so appalled, like you deserve it. Like, um, okay, that's hard, but you know, see, the dads can do it, so can the moms. Yeah, I was like I'm going away to get even with you. Um, I'm, I'm going, I'm going on like a spa weekend or spa day. Like just don't even hit me up. I was like don't, don't ask me questions. Um, don't ask me to explain anything. Like I'm going away and my phone will be on, do not disturb.
Speaker 1:As you should, queen, she'll be at off duty. A mom's retreat, exactly yeah.
Speaker 2:Catch me at off duty a mom's retreat.
Speaker 1:That'll be another specialist on hand. Anybody need a guy know while we're there giving birth ladies.
Speaker 2:I know, oh my God, there there, there would be so many questions and now, when I like go to weddings, like my friends see me and ask questions, so there would definitely be, like so many, never off never.
Speaker 1:So you know what I think? This is gonna be a revolution, and it's a good one.
Speaker 2:I know, I think so too. I don't know if there are other mom retreats out there. I really don't know.
Speaker 1:I obviously did a little bit of research. There are, but I see a lot of them run by just like other moms, and it's not like they don't have the experts come in. So I'm trying to kind of reinvent the wheel here because I mean I could do a mom vacation with it. I'm like I'm trying to think like if I saw that, as fun as they look, I would just do that with my best friends, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like that wouldn't prompt me to go with these strangers, just right right, that's true, I would rather go with my best friends where I'm comfortable exactly so this might be this gap in the market. And you fill it, girl, and you become a millionaire.
Speaker 1:It's not really about the money, though, but it's about care proper care that we should be getting, but we're not. And a village sisterhood.
Speaker 2:But wouldn't it be crazy if, like, in 10 years time, it's like off duty is like guys, you should get in on the ground floor, like what if this is what if this really explodes and this becomes like the like, it becomes like synonymous with motherhood is like, oh yeah, have you gone on off duty Like such a good retreat and you go all over the world with it.
Speaker 1:I, that is my hopes. I truly hope so. I I want to do, you know, one a year. You know just as I'm starting. But if they get so popular that I have to do maybe two a year, three a year, four a year, I am down girl. I will be off duty all the time. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:What I love your brain. I don't know how the frick you came up with this idea, but you did.
Speaker 1:And in a week you implemented it. I actually I don't know how my brain does it either. I don't know how to explain it, but, like, sometimes I'll basically think of different avenues to solve my own problems and then, because you know me, Bridget mom's always like oh, marissa has the biggest heart, she's so empathetic, that's why she's a therapist. I usually figure out the solution and then say how can I give back to everybody else? I want everybody to feel so good, just like me freaking genius thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1:So, coming a lot from the doctor's second overachieving child, yeah, but I'm not as creative as you.
Speaker 2:I would not have come up with it. This is something I would have been like, oh, I wish this exists. Or like, oh, I wish I could like go away with my friends and have like an amazing time, but it honestly would not have occurred to me to like create that. So I'm imploring you all, all the listeners out there, like this might be your chance to get in before this absolutely blows up, because what I'm hearing is a genius idea and there's definitely a need in the market and in motherhood, and I think it's going to be big. I really do.
Speaker 1:I truly hope so and I will say you are right in a sense, like get on the bandwagon now because, like I said, I want these to be very personal, small guided retreats, so I really don't want to take any more than 12. Will I maybe bump the number if it gets so popular, to maybe 15, 20, maybe, but right now very small, village, sisterhood minded, I don't want it to feel like people are getting lost in a big group. You know, I really want people to make really good motherhood friends.
Speaker 2:No, I love that, yeah, Especially if you're like someone who's overwhelmed or like you know how we said, motherhood is very isolating. So maybe you only have a couple of friends and you're like I really don't want to be like in a big group of 20, 30 women where, like you know, I'm coming here to like kind of find a bit of a village and I'm going to be overwhelmed if it's a bunch of like you know, like loud in your face extroverts and then you just kind of fall to the wayside.
Speaker 1:Right, right. Also for my workshops. They're going to be obviously groups led by me and they're going to get really personal. We're going to get some emotions out there and I think with any group setting too big a group is too big, it doesn't work well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes, definitely. It's just like you're sharing in front of a group of strangers. At that point I think you'd be a bit more timid, yeah, Whereas you know you're having like a welcome party with only you said maximum 12 women. So you might really open up and share with these women and feel by the time it's a group therapy session, you really know these women and you're more than happy to share.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I wanted it to. I don't know if everyone's gonna know this, but anyone who went to a Catholic school especially Monsignor Donovan, now Donovan Catholic, kairos, kairos Do you know how, even if we had a big class, they'd break you down to no more than five people, kind of thing? I wanted Kairos for motherhood because I felt like when I left Kairos it was such a really good bonding experience and it really made me feel good and I want that feeling, but for mothers, yes because you share and you realize that actually we all are very, very similar and we all have massive struggles and we all have horrible thoughts, we all have intrusive thoughts and sometimes we let them win.
Speaker 2:And it's good to just like give a voice to that. So you're like, oh, I'm not super weird, or like a horrible mom or just a bad person or a bad friend, because you know, sometimes you feel like all of those things.
Speaker 1:Also just pressure to talk about. Like I feel like things that aren't talked about right, like, um, like, if people feel guilty because, like they're new, they're friends who either have way older kids or no kids at all, um, you know, when you you feel guilty, that you don't text them back right away. It's like five business days, but you a really good friend doesn't care, right, you could pick up whatever, but you still feel guilty about it. So, like, let's talk about these things, let's get to the nitty gritty, let's just make friends who don't care, right, because we're all in this together.
Speaker 2:All in this together. And yeah, it is funny, you, you kind of feel like a bad friend because, yeah, you're just this sounds bad again but like you're just too busy. You're too busy for them. And it's not like you're too busy to be a friend, but you're too busy to text and you're too busy to organize. So if someone's like, hey, when can we all get together for dinner, sometimes you're like I just can't like even put my brain power behind that.
Speaker 2:Also, what I have found and I feel so guilty is weddings Like before kids. That's like you're like, oh, I have a wedding this weekend. You already know what you're wearing, you know how you're styling it, you know what hairdo like. You're like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm ready to go, I know where it is. Like massive flip Guys. I don't even know the date of so many weddings. I have eight weddings this year and some of them what is it? The three days, two days before the last wedding I went to, I texted and I was like, is her wedding on a friday or saturday? And she was like, oh, my god, seriously bridget. And I was like, when you like, all I could think about was like getting here and, like I don't know, showing up with my kid at the airport, like that was it yep I mean our thought behind outfit, hair shoes, date of the wedding.
Speaker 2:I was like I know it's this weekend, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I mean if it makes you feel any better for our own brother's wedding. I have multiple calendar reminders and it's our brother.
Speaker 2:It's just one of those things and it sounds really bad. So, like any brides out there, if you're listening and you're like that's really fucking offensive Because like I spent a whole year and a lot of money Like it's no offense to you at all, I'm not saying your day is not important, but once you have a child, like it's just no longer like the highlight of my week. I can't even I'm looking forward to it. I want to go, but like I just can't even think about it until it is like literally tomorrow, and then I'm like, oh shit, I need an outfit.
Speaker 1:The mental exhaustion. Another thing I hope to help others through it. Yeah, if you have to think of one more thing, you're just, you're just overboard, you're just too much. And that's another reason why this has to be a retreat where you really get away. It can't be just like a Facebook group or a virtual get together, because that's just another thing where you have to put energy into maybe typing something. You just you're just like no, no, no, no, no. You need to be away. You need to be who you were before you were a mom, whoever that may be, and just enjoy.
Speaker 2:Love that, love that. I'm jealous of all you girlies who are going on it. Obviously, if I'm free next April, I'm definitely going to pop my freaking head in and say hello and if I can I'll do totally like a Q and a session. But um, I, oh my God, I'm so excited. So plug it again. Marissa, tell us where we can find all this.
Speaker 1:Okay, so the title of my retreat is off duty, a mom's retreat. You can go to register at wwwoffdutyretreatscom or you can follow us on Instagram, which also has my website link there. Okay, hold on.
Speaker 2:She's going to confirm.
Speaker 1:Okay, so at our Instagram you can go to off underscore duty, underscore mom underscore retreats.
Speaker 2:Amazing, Sounds incredible. Everyone go follow, even if you don't want to go. But you want to follow along because Merce is going to post some awesome content as it unfolds. So go head over to Off-Duty Moms Retreats. And yeah, I hope we like this episode, ladies. Oh, the answers are back. For should Merce throw a mom rager and a hundred percent said yes?
Speaker 1:Okay, so also, I was was gonna say something about that. That also is what got my brain going. Instead, I I took the mom ranger wow, mom rager to a next level. But this is this what came from that question see guys.
Speaker 2:Oh my god. Just a week ago we're talking about mom ragers and she booked a whole vacation for you fuckers. I'm raging bitch, yeah, oh my god. Oh wait, think about getting, oh, as drunk as you want, because the next day you don't have to wake up early to a child screaming.
Speaker 1:Also alcohol's included.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, guys, she is spoiling you.
Speaker 1:So even if the dates don't work for you or it's just not something you could swing, if you guys just follow along and share my stuff, that's that's a big enough help. I appreciate that as well.
Speaker 2:Yes, amazing Off-duty mom retreats. Everyone go check it out and thank you so much for joining us for season three. You want out of off duty like? Tell us what you expect to find yourself, your peace, your center, whatever, let us know. Yes, take care. Bye.