Psychotic P***y Podcast
Just two sisters discussing women’s mental and physical health. It's not only our hobby, but our careers. We want to shed light on important topics & teach people new things every episode.
Psychotic P***y Podcast
The Science Gap: Women's Invisibility in Medical and Safety Studies
Ever wondered why your office feels like an ice box while your male colleagues seem perfectly comfortable? Or why medications seem to affect you differently than advertised? The answer lies in a shocking reality: much of our world simply wasn't designed with women in mind.
In this eye-opening episode, Bridget and Marissa dive deep into the gender data gap exposed in Caroline Criado-Perez's groundbreaking book "Invisible Women." What they uncover will leave you questioning everything from car safety to medical care. Did you know women are 73% more likely to be seriously injured in car accidents because crash test dummies are modeled after male bodies? Or that most medications are never properly tested on women of childbearing age?
From brick sizes designed for men's hands to office temperatures set for male metabolic rates, these seemingly small design choices create real barriers for women's success and safety. The sisters explore how heart attacks in women are routinely misdiagnosed because female symptoms are labeled "atypical" despite women making up the majority of the population. They also discuss the frustrating double standard where women who speak up are labeled "Karens" while men's complaints are taken as legitimate concerns.
Between life updates about their growing families and upcoming reunions, Bridget and Marissa reflect on how motherhood has strengthened their confidence and resilience in the face of these systemic challenges. They invite you to join the conversation by suggesting a male equivalent to "Karen" and sharing how parenthood has changed your own perspective.
Ready to see the invisible biases all around us? Listen now, and you'll never look at the world quite the same way again. Follow us on Instagram @psychoticpypodcast to continue the conversation and connect with our community of listeners!
Disclaimer: This podcast represents the opinions of Dr. Bridget Melton, MD and licensed therapist Marissa Volinsky, MS, LPC, NCC. The contents of our podcast and website should not be taken as medical advice. The contents of our podcast and website are for general informational purposes only, and are not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any condition or disease or substitute for medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental health professional, or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before starting or discontinuing treatment.
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a crisis, please reach out immediately to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741. These services are free and confidential.
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And welcome back to Psychotic PY Podcast. This is your host, Marissa, and Bridget. Obviously, the better sister is starting out first today. All right, so Bridget, take it away. Episode four season three.
Speaker 2:Hello guys, welcome to episode four. So today we are talking about something that's important hopefully to our listeners, because I assume you're all women. I was like fuck you. Yeah, it's about underrepresentation of women in studies and research. We have talked about this in season one a little bit and I mentioned the book Invisible Women by Caroline Criado-Perez Amazing read.
Speaker 2:I read it a couple of years ago now and maybe a few years ago. God time flies, anyway. And she gives you just the hard facts, like you're more likely to die in this, you're more likely to be injured. This she's literally tallied up the money that stay at home moms would earn. It adds billions to the GDP. It's insane. Like you could charge someone, it would be. It costs you an astronomical amount to pay someone to do it, like a stay-at-home mom does. And she just talks about, like basically, how people argue, like equal work for equal pay, and she brings it down to the money, to the dollar, to the hour, everything. It's amazing. It's all just statistical, but in an interesting way, and you read it and you're like women really are absolutely shafted in this world. It's amazing.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, highly recommend that read. So we're going to just talk about that a little bit, because Marissa sent me something on Instagram, I think, a week ago where they're basically pulling stats from her book and it's kind of like doing the rounds on social media, even though the book's been out for a little while. So I was like, oh, I know that, I read that and it's all true. So, yeah, welcome. Season three, episode four any life updates?
Speaker 1:um, I hung out with Aunt Erin shout out to Yaya, it was fun. We went to go see you, got a friend in me, kind of uh show. Um, don't ask me what their names are, because I just know exactly what they look like and that it was really fun and they kind of just talked about things. It's like a podcast, live form of you know things on the real housewives and stuff like that. Like I was telling bridget before, they had a Damien come out, which is Tina Fey's good friend and reason why she created Damien in Mean Girls. So it was like pretty much his, the reason the character is developed, and let me say he is to a T Damien, even his name and I just was a really nice night out.
Speaker 1:We had a drink after a park in Rittenhouse square, we went home and started a new show on Apple TV which, by the way, bridget, in order to finish it I need your login. Thank you, love you. Kiss, kiss, it's the new one with the studio. No, no, no, it's the guy that loses his job. So he has to start robbing his neighbor by friends and neighbors.
Speaker 2:Yes, that one. So, good Jon Hamm one. So good, john ham, is it good? I haven't started it. Very good, and give me your login and we could just do it together.
Speaker 1:My, my apple tv ends in two days, I will. I will binge tonight. I won't go to bed.
Speaker 2:Give it to me and they drop the whole thing. It's not coming out weekly the whole season, to my knowledge. Oh my god, because apple tv usually does weekly dumps.
Speaker 1:Guys like weekly episodes, I don't know maybe they only dropped a few, and if I don't know either way, let me know they start out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, also guys watch the studio on apple tv, so good I'll have to do that too honestly.
Speaker 1:Um, a little tidbit about me guys. Don't know if bridget knows or not, but john ham is actually one of my like older zaddy crushes, right, no matter how old he gets, he's fine and he has a big penis there's an instagram called john ham's penis. It's huge I didn't know that. Now I'm gonna have to go search, but that's not even when I liked him. I just feel like he ages so well he is funny.
Speaker 2:He's hilarious even in like bridesmaids when he's the worst he's still like, so charming and adorable. Also, is his name ted and bridesmaids? I'm pretty sure it is. I think it is, which makes it funnier, ted, and I always joke about how, like any ted in any movie is always an asshole, like hollywood hates ted's or some ted years ago fucked someone over and hollywood has not forgiven them you know what's funny?
Speaker 1:I love that part where he's like you're no longer my number two and she's like what he drives away.
Speaker 2:I love him in that. So even when he's an asshole, you're like, oh, he's so cute. No, I really want you to leave.
Speaker 1:I don't want to be a dick I really want you to leave oh yeah, so my friends and neighbors.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'll have to give it a little watch. But yeah, I'm sure apple tv usually releases two episodes and then the rest is like a weekly I feel like I saw more than that.
Speaker 1:Not saying that it's the whole season, maybe it's only like three or four, but like I'll go as far as I can Give me it, okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. Anyway, so that was my life update. What about you, bridget?
Speaker 2:Life update. I mean, you know, theo, seven months, he's starting to almost crawl. He's really close. He does these little planks. It's adorable. Um, I mean, yeah, it's almost easter guys. Yes, I went to palm sunday mass and he made little friends with the you know, the old ladies who helped around church. He's so adorable. He's being all cute, um, but yeah, oh, you know what quick update An acquaintance of mine, because it's my brother-in-law's good friend, just had their first baby, just like literally a few days ago, and I think it would be nice my brother-in-law, my brother-in-law's friends, will why.
Speaker 1:John popped into my head. I'm like what are you talking about? But yes, I would be your brother-in-law. I'm sorry, I'm not used to that. He doesn't have siblings. Rest in peace anymore, so I don't. When you use that lingo, I just assume you mean John. No, Okay, continue.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my brother-in-law, will Melton, so his good friends, just had their first baby and I, now that I'm like you know, mom, and I obviously have social media so I see certain complaints that people make against, like visitors. I think it would be nice. Oh, I sent her diapers already sent her a big pack of diapers. I'm like you'll need these, girl. And the diapers came with 10 free packs of wipes crazy. Never saw that before, I know. So I sent that right to her house.
Speaker 2:But a lot of people say you should, instead of like going over and be like can I hold, hold your baby, you should actually go over there and let the mom hang out with the baby and bond and you just like do a load of laundry, wash the dishes, help her, do the pump, whatever, like all that other stuff, offer up my services and be like hey, do you have a day where you're not doing anything? I'll drive on over, literally you can cuddle your new baby girl and I'll just like do the other shit, cause I feel like that's what you really need, cause her husband's obviously back at work. I was very lucky Ted had three months, like her husband's, I'm sure, back at work.
Speaker 1:I. What I've learned is yes, that's correct, but it's actually you should ask the mom, because there are some moms, um, especially with colicky babies, that would prefer the release of like I don't know, just like walking outside while you, you know, hold the baby, or just so like, for me it's per mother. I asked the mother do you want me to come and be a maid and a chef and and whatever you need, or do you want me to help you with the baby and you get to choose what you want to do? I also always never come empty-handed, whether that's I'm coming and I'm bringing a ton of food, or you don't want any visitors and I'm sending trays of food helpful cooking is okay I will, I'm definitely in this and so will was like they're dead chill, like they're bonding beautifully.
Speaker 2:She's a really chill baby and I'm like, yes, but that's because she's a newborn, um, so I'm like okay, because he visited already and he's like I didn't want to impose, but they said like come on over, everything's good. So I might just be like you know, you carry on and yeah, but I'll ask her the thing that's so invaluable is like if you come with food or like you do the dishwasher, the laundry, like that's all the stuff that adds up, and then at the end of the day, like when you put baby down for a nap, you're like, oh my God, now I have like 3 million things to do.
Speaker 1:Yep, Well, Kimmy did with me, cause my friend Kimmy if anybody doesn't know, best friend love you girl, Especially with Evelyn. She knew she obviously as an experienced person at that time, new, like, ask me right, and all I wanted to do, cause Evelyn was still sleeping like an angel, so it didn't matter whether she was with us or not. I was like I want to put her in the car while she's asleep and we'll stay asleep, and I want you to drive me to Shogun just to get out of the house. But but I don't actually want to go in, Cause that means I have to do hair and makeup and it and it was like so fun I'm getting out of the asylum today.
Speaker 2:What's funny is I actually I haven't opened her message yet, cause it was just like 15 minutes ago and I could already see she says, like when I'm able to drive again, it'd be nice to meet up for a baby date. Like you just want to get out of the effing house, Especially in good weather.
Speaker 1:The best time is to have a baby. In good weather, you just want to get out of the effing house, especially in good weather.
Speaker 2:The best time is to have a baby in good weather. Yes, I know, spring has sprung, guys, so I think everyone's just like desperate to get out. Speaking of which, we're carrying on with this life update for a while. Ted, my husband, his birthday is this week and he has taken. He has the whole week off of work. He took off, so we just keep singing because today you didn't have to go into work. He worked the whole weekend and we just keep going birthday week birthday. Like we went for a walk with theo. We went to the pub, I had a little tiny beer, a little half pint. Um came back, fed him. Yeah, we just like, oh, he did like dad shit. Today he mowed the grass and, you know, did his little weed whacker. It's just like such a nice time. I'm like, oh, I can't wait. He has a whole week to. I mean, I say chill, but he can't really chill because I have pilates and then book club tomorrow. So bitch you better you better work.
Speaker 1:He is now your employee. I know it's like that thing that was going around you have been promoted, my employee, what's? I didn't see that. It's a thing where it was like you're my. You think you're getting pretty much in the situation like this. You think you're getting a break, but it's like you have been promoted, I'll set it to you, you're my invaluable employee. And they didn't realize, because it's something similar to this dynamic where it's like no, you're.
Speaker 2:You know, this is my family and I have all for a week. No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know, I know. So yeah, exciting times Everyone's having a baby now, everyone First of all, summer of babies, not just in my friend group, your friend group, and even acquaintances of both, I'm like. You're all giving birth June, all the way to September, october, what the hell.
Speaker 2:Yes, that is what I I have. I have literally like babies from now till, I'd say, august for me. I think that ends.
Speaker 1:I'm in first week of October for me, but literally that my friends start all the way from June, all the way the first week of October. I'm like, oh my god yeah, it's just, it's happening.
Speaker 2:Man, we're trendsetters, you and I, and then our friends, just you know, fall like dominoes. It's just kidding.
Speaker 1:I love you. They just you know what, though, if they wanted to see, if we could, you know, do it without going mentally insane first.
Speaker 2:And they were like oh okay, okay, okay that's so true.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're like if they break, then we're not doing it they were raised under jerry's regime, so if they can handle this, then we'll take it on.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. I know ted keeps mentioning having a second one. Guys, what's? And I'm like, I know I'm like, and yet, and yet, and yet, jesus, he's trying to have irish twins. What the hell. I think in an ideal world he would he'd seen like two under two.
Speaker 1:I'm like it's not happening no, I I think it's a beautiful idea in as an idea, but in reality especially because the second are usually tougher and a bit colicky no, it ain't happening Right.
Speaker 2:So those are the life updates. I can't think of anything else going on. That's exciting, sorry One more.
Speaker 1:Bridget comes home in countdown one week.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, yes, oh, my God, I forgot that I fly in literally one week oh, yes, yes, oh my god, I forgot that I fly in literally a week, so we're recording today, on a Monday. I fly on a Monday. Oh my god, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1:Yay, and then we can record in person yes, which ends up us just having a girls day and almost forgetting to record.
Speaker 2:I know, but I'm so excited, oh my god. Yes, guys, I'm going to be in the us of a for a whole month. It's gonna fly, but we'll try to make the most of it. It's gonna be mother's day. I have a wedding I'm attending. Um, I signed with you up for swim lessons, so is.
Speaker 1:Uh. I know theo remembers my voice, but do you think he'll remember me?
Speaker 2:I really hope I'll cry I will literally I'll cry too. I remember when jack was like I I want to say one. I came home once from Chicago and he just you remember how he used to like back up, Like if you open the door, he'd, and I was like Jack, it's me Like I fed you all the time, Like I was there for you all the time as a baby.
Speaker 1:It broke my heart and then he like warmed up and I was like and evelyn would do this thing where you could be best friends with her one trip, but if there was a big enough gap, she would cry and hide in me or john until she warmed up again and I'd be like girl you played with this person before for hours ending me baby girl, so that's why I think it's gonna happen with theo, but but he's not nine months yet, so no stranger danger, so I think he'll still be pretty chill.
Speaker 1:Could be earlier with kids. Evelyn's came earlier. Oh damn, mom always thought it's because girls like mentally develop faster, because she always seemed like more ahead than him. That way he was physically like walking and all that ahead. But like you know, mentally she seemed further ahead with it, just like social cues and everything, and she could pick things up faster. Potty training was quicker, just things like that. So you know, maybe it's a girl thing, I don't know well, we'll see.
Speaker 2:Hopefully, my dumb, dumb son still loves you. I will cuddle him anyway, I know. Yeah, he could basically say gaga now.
Speaker 1:So but yeah, is that his first word before mama and dada.
Speaker 2:Um, he doesn't. I don't think it's unintentional, but when he cries he does say mama. It's like mama, so I'm assuming it's unintentional. It's just like a sound he's making, I don't know.
Speaker 1:And when he babbles he says gaga, a lot it's so easy to say um, but does it melt your little mommy heart and he's crying and calling for you?
Speaker 2:I know it does and I hate when he does it, because I little mommy heart and he's crying and calling for you I know it does and I hate when he does it because I'm like no, I don't like, I just want to like pick him up and smother him with love oh, I wish you could all see her how she acted that out.
Speaker 1:It was very adorable but, yes, very smother smothering. You just want to like. Oh, all right, our life update has taken this whole podcast, so let's get to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sorry, guys. Okay, so the book is Invisible. Women the thing Marissa sent me is so women are 73% more likely to be seriously injured in a car accident and I have quotes from her book up right in front of me now. And you're 47% more likely to be seriously injured or die in a car accident. Now do you know why? I'll tell you why. It's because and it's inaccurate for men as well, but it's more accurate.
Speaker 2:So crash test dummies only came in one form the average 70 kilo man. Now, the average 70 kilo man has not existed since the seventies or eighties because men are way bigger now, but that's what they use a 70-kilo man. And then for a woman, they were like oh yeah, just like, replicate it, okay. Then eventually women were like that's not right. So in the 80s, maybe 90s actually it could be even the early 2000s, guys, it's like shockingly recent they were like oh, okay, so women and men aren't the same. We'll fix this problem. We'll take the child crash test dummy, which is 4'11 and 100 pounds 4'11, 100 pounds and we'll use that as the woman.
Speaker 2:Women are much more seriously injured or much more likely to be seriously injured or die in a car accident because we literally they don't exist. We do not have female crash test dummies. We have no idea what a car accident does to a female body. Now you're probably saying why don't they just make one for women? Well, for decades and decades and decades modern research, because you can go all the way back to the dawn of science. But women were not even thought of then. So there's no point. You understand that. But modern research when it's recorded and we read it still and cite these articles, they refuse to do research on women of, quote, childbearing age, so basically 12 to 55. They will not do any research on you because they're like well, we don't know what it'll affect her eggs.
Speaker 1:So, women.
Speaker 2:we rarely have drug trials. We have no studies done on us at all. So any research you read, if it's not the latest like I'm talking within the last five years when they started actually including women who are not post-menopausal If you still have estrogen floating around, it's literally within the last five years. Anything before that. If you're reading drug trials, anything it's on men, it's on men and postmenopausal women, so it may not even relate to you. Perfect example intermittent fasting. In the last decade they've done a ton of research about intermittent fasting being like oh, it can cure type 2 diabetes and weight loss, all this stuff. There's actually research they just did.
Speaker 2:It's not a great decision for women who still have their period. If you're getting menstruation, if you're of childbearing age, it can be more harmful than good because you need a certain amount of food throughout the day to regulate your cycle. You need these fats, you need these proteins. It's just it's not the male body. It works differently and it cycles. Obviously that's where we have a cycle. So it's not like the male body where it's relatively steady state throughout the year. Completely different for us. So intermittent fasting could make your health, you know worse. It could be a detriment to your health, unless you are post-menopausal. Just a little fun fact.
Speaker 1:In my field alone, or you know even yours medical behavioral most studies done on animals are done on males or over females.
Speaker 2:Wait see, how is that even relevant? They're animals as if we're trying to like breed more monkeys.
Speaker 1:But again, why are we not evening out the ratio? Why are we sticking to more male, whatever it is, whether it's a rat, a bunny or whatever it is? Not that I even agree with any of this, because I think that's so cruel, but you know what I mean. In in these studies across the board, in bridget's field, in my field, it's mostly the male animal and I just don't think that's going to help anybody if you're just focusing on one gender.
Speaker 2:That is so interesting. So men are, on average, more than twice as likely to interrupt women as women are to interrupt men. Now, you probably could have. You probably could have brought it out as well how many times? And I think I would say, growing up it was so normal you really didn't even think about it. You're just like, oh, they interrupted me, whatever. Like that's annoying. But it's only when I was an adult, like an over 25-year-old adult, that I was like wait a second, it is actually only the boys who keep interrupting me. It's so frustrating and it just comes from and this is she talks about this in her book no-transcript Women and all that stuff.
Speaker 2:You're at the gym and you're like I really need to use those weights, but there's a bunch of big guys over there and if I go grab those weights, they're going to be like, oh, what does she need those for? And I will say that's changed now. Obviously, a lot of women lift weights, but when I was like in high school oh no, like you stuck to the cardio girl and that was what I was. I graduated high school in 2012.
Speaker 1:It sounds like a really long time ago.
Speaker 2:But that's what it was, right, don't you agree? More so, like the 2010s, it was like no, no, no, you stick to the elliptical.
Speaker 1:Right, right. Even if, like it was very common when girls wanted to just like lose weight for homecoming or prom, it was like cardio, hit the cardio hard, don't eat a lot in cardio.
Speaker 2:Yes, and now I'm so happy it's changed. Now when I go to the gym I'm always at the weights and women are always at the weights and it's totally normal. But I mean, I remember being at Fordham and being like going to the gym and I had tons of friends. I knew it wasn't like weird, but if I'd be like there's too many guys at the weights and I need those weights but they're just going to look at me like why is she here? So I wouldn't, and it was so effing annoying.
Speaker 2:But it comes from a sense of belonging. Men inherently always think that they belong and that no one is judging them. Not all men. Obviously there are men with anxiety. I'm not discounting that. But more likely that women without any anxiety feel like they have to prove themselves in a room unless it is a room full of only women. Right, I agree with that. Absolutely Shocking.
Speaker 2:Now another really interesting thing. These are things you don't even think about. That's why I totally recommend this book, guys. You will fly through it. You'll be like it's about statistics. No, you will fly through it. It reads recommend this book, guys. You will fly through it. You'll be like it's about statistics. No, you will fly through it it reads like a novel.
Speaker 2:So, stupidest thing bricks the common brick and cinder block. They invented to be the size of an average man's hand because bricklayers obviously were men. So they pick up a brick, put it down. Women um, there are female bricklayers in the world. Obviously there are women who work in construction. They struggle. We have smaller hands because we are, on average, smaller people, so they struggle and that makes them slower. You have to pick it up. You know it might take two hands, so you're working at a slightly slower pace. This inherently leads to men being like oh, women can't do construction jobs, they're too slow when the brick was made for your hand. That's why you are able to succeed. If a brick was made for a woman's hand, we would be better suited to the job. So don't just say, oh, it's just because we're better at it. You're better at it because the world was designed for your body. That is why you're better at it.
Speaker 2:Offices they set the temperature to the optimal temperature. Like 65 degrees it's cold. They set it for the optimal temperature for the male body to work throughout the day. That's why women go bundled up to work. Not Marissa, she's like bitch. I love the air. Women bundle up, they're freezing.
Speaker 2:This is also in the book book, I'm not just coming up with this, you know and you know. When your hands are cold, marissa, and you're like, can't type because you're like I'm so fucking cold, like you, literally your shoulders are up to your ears. It slows down women, it slows down their productivity, because now they're going to the kitchen, the kitchenette, they're making more coffee, they're making more tea, they're putting their sweaters on and then they literally cannot type as fast because they're so cold. And men will be like what's she doing? Get her third cup of tea? And it's like I am freezing. Can we in the middle here? But the office space was designed for this optimal temperature for the male body during the day. I'm trying to think of other ones just off the top of my head. This book really stuck with me. It's incredible.
Speaker 1:I have a few things from my sphere of the world. Oh good For just diagnosing and everything. Adhd in women underdiagnosed because of internalizing symptoms, so anxiety and inattention sometimes are less visible. And boys are obviously easily more able to become diagnosed because they have externalized hyperactivity which can be seen, so they get the diagnosis more. Now this is just one example of many things in my field I could go into where there's just a misrepresentation.
Speaker 2:I've read the same thing about autism spectrum. Would you agree with that?
Speaker 1:It's because I hear too, yep. It presents differently in women and sometimes it's either it's diagnosed way later for them or missed completely, according to their male counterparts.
Speaker 2:And that is because well, I don't know if this is true, but this is what I read it's because women have better people pleasing and social skills so they can hide autism, whereas if there's a boy with autism spectrum and you're just not entertaining him, he'll let you know and you're like that was kind of an odd comment.
Speaker 1:Maybe that's exactly why you are 100% correct Sweet Right on the money.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, I remembered another one, so this is the most common. We hear it all the time Atypical chest pain, like atypical heart syndrome conditions. We call it atypical heart syndrome conditions. We call it atypical, even though women are 51% of the population, atypical guys. It literally just means presenting like a woman. We are the majority technically. How is ours atypical? Why is ours not typical? I get it Generally men presented with heart attacks not anymore. Also, we miss so many myocardial infarctions in women because we're like no, it's not the typical left arm pain up to the jaw, elephant on your chest. Women don't. They can, but they tend not to present that way. Can we stop calling it atypical chest pain when it just means female?
Speaker 1:Yes, I agree. I know you were talking about hormones and everything a little bit ago. I know you were talking about hormones and everything a little bit ago Because of that longstanding tendency to interpret female emotion through a pathological lens. So if a woman is expressing anger, they could be labeled as hysterical or borderline more readily than the men showing similar behavior. So a lot of things are blamed on, like our hormones and our emotionality, and it's like whoa whoa, wait a minute, take a back seat.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, the classic is female athletes. Hope you know what is it. Last year they tried to make that whole, like angel reese and um, oh my god, guys don't judge me, but the other really good basketball player I'm I don't watch wmba, but those two college grads who now play for the wmba, they were saying there's like a big feud between them. It is literally just competitiveness and passion for the WNBA. They were saying there's like a big feud between them. It is literally just competitiveness and passion for the game. Like if there were two males playing at that time for March Madness, like yeah, obviously they wouldn't be getting along their opponents like they're not on the same team?
Speaker 2:absolutely, is her name Clark Caitlin?
Speaker 1:oh my god, guys, don't judge me, don't judge me don't follow it, but I would love to see what people would say Okay, so obviously I could speak on this only because my husband is an avid Devils hockey player, so it's very well known that they fight right and they love it. The crowd goes for it. The referees are trying to break it up. If this was predominantly women, what would? Would people love it?
Speaker 2:would the crowds love it, or would they be like oh my god, she's crazy calm down hormones, like they would call them crazy, and the lead up to the game they would be like oh so and so hate. So they would like stir up drama, just like they do with these basketball players. It's so embarrassing. Why is everything always reduced to some sort of like drama?
Speaker 1:but I also, though, through any generation in time. When men display physical behavior, it's like rewarded, Like yeah, he had to, he had to show it, he had to make his point, or he was defending his woman or his property. It's like praised. But with women it's like calm down, Are you emotional? It's like what?
Speaker 2:And they'll also be like oh, you're like your white trash, like you're cat fighting or something. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Mm-hmm, but I mean change the gender and people are like, yeah, he had to. He had to show him who's boss.
Speaker 2:It's very frustrating.
Speaker 1:It is interesting.
Speaker 2:This is me right off.
Speaker 1:We'll have to go fight our husbands for no reason. Really emotional yeah.
Speaker 2:It's unfortunate because there are so many examples like this and I mean honestly like I cannot recommend this book enough because the certain things you just literally did not even think about and you're like, yeah, wait, why are women like slower at this, or whatever. And you go oh my God, the world around us was specifically catered. And they'll say like it's not, like well, it just happens to be. No, no, they have like the facts, they have like the blueprints of whatever they made, they it was designed for a man and they're letting you know that and then.
Speaker 2:I guess I just thought like oh, women would never work, and I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I honestly, maybe they just never went back to you know, start from scratch and be like, all right, let's try this avenue now. Nope, they're like that's good enough.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah I mean, and taking our lives so lightly as to not even have test dummies that are our proportions is insane. Like okay, it's one thing, to be like, well, she can't lay bricks, but to be like, well, she's gonna die in a car accident, like what, you have so little regard for our health and safety I mean, it is um scary.
Speaker 1:To be honest, I don't want to think about it. When you, when we were like discussing this in a dm, she dms me. Guys, I feel old when I say that, but I was like I don't feel. I wish I didn't know that. Could you make me? Can we go back in time, erase my memory like men in black, because I don't want to know.
Speaker 2:I know I actually, because I was just like, oh, it's going to be, like this book's just going to kind of teach me sad facts. I already knew, but when I read about, like health and safety ones, and how drugs, um, could literally have potentially life-ending side effects but we don't know because we don't test them on women, oh my God, like most adverse reactions to drugs are reported by women. A, we report things more, but B, we were having more adverse reactions, side effects, because the drug was not tested on a woman. And then they're like, oh no, that's rare, okay, well, if it's happening to another um. But I was like I really wish I didn't know this, because now everything, you, just you really have to be so strict and you can't be like, oh well, it says it won't cause this and a man.
Speaker 1:You know what this has got me pondering as you're speaking. I don't feel like there's an equivalent to when people say karen, right, like you're. Oh, she's being a karen now, granted disclaimer. Yes, there are though that fit that description. You're like oh my god, she's being ridiculous. But then there are women who maybe just be voicing a concern and then they're labeled as a karen. But what's the male equivalent?
Speaker 2:yes, that's so true, as if men don't complain because, let me know, yeah, they do. Let's make a name right now. Let's put it out in the universe. What are we going?
Speaker 1:to give it Kevin. Is that? Is that seem, Kevin?
Speaker 2:Well, I was going to say a Brian, but a Kevin. Don't say Brian, you have an uncle Brian, that's not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know why that came to me but Brian with a Y, uncle Brian's with an I. Okay, so it's either Brian with a Y or Kevin. I feel like a Kevin might be. I'm sorry if I'm forgetting any Kevin that we know.
Speaker 2:I know Sorry, but Kevin, yeah, why not? The only Kevins I know are actually really chill.
Speaker 1:I know, okay, maybe we got to change it up. Who do you like a? Chad, dylan, brad Brad's are annoying. We should do Brad or Chad.
Speaker 2:Dylan better chad dylan. I feel like dylan's not gonna chill.
Speaker 1:Usually smoke weed I don't know, just the name bothers me. You guys, we, you know you need to make this a question on our ig and let's survey, let's, let's do a fill in. I want to, I want a good name and then we're gonna thing, we're gonna make it a thing, guys, and we're gonna, we're gonna do it, we're gonna start this name they need a name.
Speaker 2:They need a name, they need a freaking name. They need a freaking name Because, let me tell you, bryce, keith, keith, they need a name Because men complain about shit all the time. But when they do, it's like well, it's a legitimate concern. But when women complain, they're like will you shut your trap? And it's like no, I will not shut my trap. Okay, I, I will not shut my trap okay, I can't believe.
Speaker 1:I just realized that. Why is there no? This is making me angry that there's no equivalent. Actually, son of a bitch, yep. Anyway, now that I'm riled up and about to start a fight with a random person.
Speaker 2:Guys, I'm stretching, Sorry my back.
Speaker 1:She's got to go to Pil pilates this evening, so she's got to get limber going to pilates this evening.
Speaker 2:Hopefully that loosens me up a bit. Guys, anyone from england shout out to pilates on the walds is a friend of mine, jenny. She opened it. She is a mom, she has a daughter who's a year old now. She's absolutely killing it and, um, yeah, so she just started this endeavor because she had a career I don't know if she still works there and she just thought, you know, with being a parent now going into the office just like, wasn't going to work feasibly, because her husband is a farmer, like a full-time farmer. So in the summer and stuff during harvest he works till two in the morning. So there was there's no way like she just, you know, couldn't. So she completed her pilates training, she started pilates on the walls and, um, yeah, it's booked. So yeah, anyone in england in the uh, in the area in lincolnshire shout out to the lincolnshire crowd Go to Pilates on the Walls Mondays in Holton.
Speaker 1:You know, I always find it amazing that we're obviously amazing without kids, but it is a very common theme that a mom can literally switch directions and career paths after having kids and be extremely successful. So you're talking about Ginny. That's how I started my therapy business. It's just like we're able to like pivot and just like overcome and then like rock that shit.
Speaker 2:I know another weird thing and I don't know. I don't know if it's motherhood related or or what, but like I have never felt more like empowered as a female and more like proud of our gender. Like as when I a gave birth like unmedicated, like that blew my mind. I was like who did that? But be also just like care for theo, like a mo effing boss. Like sometimes you just have those days. You're like like you are firing on all cylinders, you've problem solved, you planned ahead and you're just like, um, I can kind of do anything. I'm amazing. Um, yeah, like it makes you use different parts of your brain, like I and merce it can probably test for this like I am a terrible critical thinker. I don't critically think being a parent has made me use that side of my brain. Like to me, I'm like if plan a doesn't work, well, that's it.
Speaker 1:But now I have like plan q oh well, step your game up, because I'm on z bitch, I'm um, what I think motherhood has done for me and this, maybe this should be another ig post like let's hear, let's read them, but, um, I my friends will attest to this I was someone who definitely cared what others thought, to the point where it would have I would. You know, bridget, like you'd be like, oh, just stop overthinking it. Who cares what she said about you? Or she didn't mean it that way, but I was overthinking and hurting my own feelings like an idiot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you do, um, and I was always like self-conscious and um, even when I was at my skinniest, I was still self-conscious. But like I became a mother and I just don't give a fuck. Like nicole would be like we would visit you on any given day. That was planned. She's like it's not. Like we walked in on you unexpected, like we planned this for weeks. You knew we were coming and your tits were out on the pump and then, even when you were done, you were slow to put your tits back and she was like we were like, uh, you want to get dressed.
Speaker 2:And you'd be like I don't give a fuck mercy, used to care so much, like even when you were like in high school and you just got your license and stuff. I remember driving with you and you do take things personally because you're like such an empath and I know people overuse term but you really like feel it all, yeah. And I remember like someone like literally like we live in Jersey, okay, like people are assholes on the road, they're not good drivers and literally just someone like maybe cut into her lane and she's like not today, blue Hyundai Like took it. So she's like I see you and I was like Marissa, like it's fine, you just got to get over it, and you were like that blue Hyundai did it on purpose all right, I can still be like that, but I I'm definitely more regulated now and also, I know it's not personal, even when I might initially act like it.
Speaker 1:I can talk myself down. But, like, I remember when I visited you what two, three years ago in London and someone when we were having tea, our mom saw someone talk shit, saying I was being like a loud American or something. I don't know. I missed that, but yes, I think that happened Again. I didn't even see this and yet I took it so personal because we got back to the hotel and I was repeating the thing that my mom told me and I was in the bathroom, remember, with you, and you're like Marissa, like who gives a fuck. You're never gonna see this person again.
Speaker 1:Yes, we are genuinely louder. Not only we're from usa, but we're from jersey, we're italian, yeah, they because they look like honestly, I'm again, I'm speculating they look like they're from like denmark or finland, like a quiet little you know sweden, and they just were, so they're talking. Even though they were, I could touch them. They. Our seats were so close and yet they sounded like they were whispering, but it was their normal tone, so anyone would seem loud to them and I took it so personally and Bridget had to just like, um, metaphorically, slap me out of it and she was like shut up, bitch, go to the bathroom. Let's get our, let's go Our next itinerary thing let's go. We are loud.
Speaker 2:It's fine, people call me loud here all the time and I'm like that's true, and I'm now I'm deaf because of it. Like our base volume is so loud that, like when people speak at a different volume in England, I'm like what? Like speak up, girl. My hair cells are broken.
Speaker 1:Me too. There's so many times where, like they talk normal, I can tell, but I'm like what, what? And they're like do you want me to scream it? I'm like yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, if life shout out to our mother, then I can't hear. You don't respond to any other time. Yeah, I need to be genuinely fearful of what you're gonna do next, and then I'm listening then my attention, is there all of it exactly.
Speaker 1:Then I'm like, oh you rang fire that's so funny, but yeah, so like. Yeah, back on topic to what you're saying. I was just yeah, I did it, but motherhood did that to me where it's like again, I have my moments, but I genuinely definitely care less for sure intake.
Speaker 2:Girl, you was always hungry. I, just as we were recording this, I had my first real meal of the day. It's in England, it's 6 30 now, but it was like at 5 30. I had like a little snack in the morning. I had tea for breakfast, like I.
Speaker 1:Just I was been busy oh my goodness, but yeah, you know. So let's definitely put it out there, guys. I definitely want to know. She'll also put this on IG, in case we all forget. I want to know a good male name for karen. We need them an equivalent. And what has motherhood changed you? Or, if you are, um, not a mother, yet in the process of being a mother, have you, have you been surrounded by family or friends that are mothers and do you feel like they've changed how?
Speaker 2:we'd like to know the answer is yes, but we want to know how.
Speaker 1:We want to know, I want to know. But, as always, thanks for joining us. Please like, share, subscribe to Psychotic PY Podcast on all of our socials, and especially YouTube.
Speaker 2:We love you, yes, we love you so much. Thanks, queens, bye.