Psychotic P***y Podcast
Just two sisters discussing women’s mental and physical health. It's not only our hobby, but our careers. We want to shed light on important topics & teach people new things every episode.
Psychotic P***y Podcast
Balancing Baby's Needs and Mom's Mental Health
Breastfeeding offers an astonishing array of health benefits, but why does it often come with emotional and physical hurdles? Join us as we unpack the dualities of breastfeeding, from immunity boosts for your baby to the psychological tolls on moms. We're here to challenge the societal expectation of exclusive breastfeeding for four months, showing that maternal mental health is just as crucial. Through candid personal stories, we reveal how struggles like low milk production can lead to feelings of guilt and worthlessness, and why the mantra "fed is best" holds value.
Imagine feeling isolated and overwhelmed, juggling the demands of a newborn while facing unrealistic body image expectations. We explore these tough realities, sharing firsthand experiences with latch issues, pain, and low milk supply. Whether it's direct breastfeeding or exclusive pumping, the journey is far from straightforward. Learn how managing expectations can alleviate stress, and why an honest conversation is needed about the imbalance of responsibilities that new mothers often encounter.
Curious about how societal norms have shifted over the decades? Geri shares her experiences from the late '80s and early '90s when formula feeding became more mainstream due to career demands. From public breastfeeding to weaning off bottles and pacifiers, Geri's insights underline the significance of a non-judgmental approach to parenting. Closing with a heated exchange between healthcare providers about prioritizing patient safety over breastfeeding, we emphasize the importance of respecting patient choices. Don’t miss this enlightening and supportive dialogue on maternal health and the complexities of feeding choices.
Disclaimer: This podcast represents the opinions of Dr. Bridget Melton, MD and licensed therapist Marissa Volinsky, MS, LPC, NCC. The contents of our podcast and website should not be taken as medical advice. The contents of our podcast and website are for general informational purposes only, and are not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any condition or disease or substitute for medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental health professional, or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before starting or discontinuing treatment.
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a crisis, please reach out immediately to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741. These services are free and confidential.
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Hello and welcome to episode four of the second season of our podcast. I can't say the name in the beginning because YouTube will edit us out. Today we're talking about boobies, so if you've ever heard the term breast is best and thought to yourself is it really? Then this episode is for you. Whether you want to roll your eyes at the notion or you're a worshiper at the altar of liquid gold, this episode has something for everyone, including tough love with chair bear, everybody's favorite segment yes, welcome back everyone.
Bridget :We're so glad to have you all with us, so excited for this episode sorry we had to miss out last week.
Bridget :we just absolutely could not do it. I was away for my cringe 30th birthday. So, yeah, we were driving back from a mini vacation baby moon birthday, you know all that. So I'm 30 now and you can all mourn my youth, Thank you.
Bridget :You literally look the same.
Bridget :Well, we'll see once this baby comes. Okay, so let's dive in. Let's talk about the health benefits of breast milk so it meets all of baby's nutritional needs. For quote, unquote free. Of course it doesn't account for the time demands placed on mom. So if mom could be working but she's being a cow on demand, then it's not technically free, but it is free in the sense that you're not buying formula. It contains IgA, which is an immunoglobulin passed through mucousous membranes, so it can go from mom to baby and it provides some immunity and protection for baby. It also fosters a bond between mom and baby. It can help reduce risk of diarrhea and vomiting, reduce risk of SIDS, which is sudden infant death syndrome, obesity and cardiovascular disease in adulthood. So there are some really great benefits of breast milk.
Bridget :To gain the potential benefits, such as reduced childhood obesity, infections and reduced allergies, baby needs to be exclusively breastfed for at least four months. I cannot stress that enough. So if you cave literally once and give formula, the spell is broken and you may as well not put so much pressure on yourself anymore. Just do what makes you feel the most comfortable. So that whole like reduction in obesity, reduction in allergies thing there's a lot of evidence behind this. You have to do, for four months, every single day, breast milk only. You cannot break it one time, otherwise you don't get those allergen benefits. So it's like you may as well just make your life easy. Breastfeeding also has some health benefits for mom, though, like lowering your risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, osteoporosis, cardiovascular disease and obesity.
Bridget :In terms of obesity, breastfeeding requires a lot of healthy caloric intake and adequate hydration, so it's normal to feel insatiable if you're actively breastfeeding. A lot of new moms say that they're just like I'm not gaining weight, but I'm also like eating a ton. I just cannot stop eating. If you're breastfeeding, you're burning tons of calories. Some women do report an increased appetite paired with weight loss, where others report increased appetite and an inability to lose those last 10 to 15 pounds. So everybody's different and both presentations are normal. So some people will store a little bit of excess fat in order to produce enough breast milk. So your body's purposefully holding onto that last layer of fat because it knows you need it, and this can be really difficult for some women who are used to living in a smaller body.
Bridget :And if breastfeeding is causing you psychological distress, depression, negative thoughts about yourself, then it's not worth it. It's simply not worth it. You cannot be the best parent and the best person for your loved ones if you're silently battling poor self-esteem. So it is absolutely not worth the mental anguish and forcing yourself to breastfeed if you can't show up and be the best version of yourself for you and baby. So if that's the case, just take the stress off and if formula is an option for you and your baby, try it. I'm not saying you have to. I'm just saying, if you're living life every day grilling yourself, saying why can't I do this? Why does it look so easy for everyone else? Try formula one or two times. If it jives with you and baby, just supplement with formula. Okay, because fed is best.
Bridget :Absolutely so. It's important to remember. Like Bridget said, fed is best. That's definitely the best. So for me personally, with my first son, jack, I breastfed him for five and a half six months.
Bridget :I did not produce enough and that is something that I feel like is not really talked about in society. Like it is once you've given birth and you know the nurses and the lactation consultant comes in, that's all you hear about is worrying about that and latching. But before that I didn't even know that was a thing and I was not prepared for it mentally at all. Honestly, feelings of worthlessness came over me, like how can I not feed my own child? Like this is my one job in life. Like why am I not good at it? Like why is every? Because I would?
Bridget :I would try everything, everything that they told me or even I googled. I tried, bridget, you even gave me those special cookies that had like oatmeal in them and stuff. It kind of bumped the milk a little bit, but not enough for me to fully just remain on breast milk for him. So with Jack I had to do both. I did have to supplement formula, which gave me internal feelings of shame and guilt, worthlessness, feeling like because before I ever had kids in my mind, I had figured I was going to just do breast milk. If I could do that, why not? Not only would it save me money, but it would make me feel so great about myself, because it was a goal of mine to just have them on breast milk only.
Bridget :And so when I failed that goal, my first goal as a mother, it was really really bad for me mentally.
Bridget :And other people go through that as well, and that's why it's really important to talk about this stuff. It is something that is actually more common than I thought, because other people that were also giving birth maybe a year or two after me colleagues of mine with their first child as well, they had issues with breast milk supply. It happens, you know, and it's just something that really no one prepares you for until it happens to yourself. And then you have to deal with watching other mothers who just have an abundance or an overabundance of milk and it's really frustrating, to be honest. So physical demands obviously huge on the mother.
Bridget :With my second child I swear it's just life just keeps getting me. But my second child I had overproduction of milk, which was great, right, except red flag. My daughter was allergic to my breast milk. So the whole time that I thought she was just colic, because she was a colicky baby born that way, incorrect I was literally giving her really bad acid reflux from the milk because she couldn't have it. So then I overproduced for no reason, because then I had to go to formula because it was the only thing that made her a normal, happy baby that could sleep and nap without being fussy.
Bridget :So yeah, you know life never works out in your favor. So just be prepared for that when you're a mom and that is why fed is best right, because you can't prepare for any of that. And it's never the mother's fault, never the baby's fault. You just you have to overcome, adapt, you know. Shift, that's all that's. That's how we go through life and that's how we make it through.
Bridget :So let's go through some of the mental health aspects of breastfeeding on the mother. So, like I just mentioned, even in my own personal story, physical demands. It's very physically demanding, especially in the early stages when the babies feed frequently and you're getting your milk supply in. So this can lead to exhaustion and affects your mental wellbeing. That can lead into the emotional impact. Hormonal changes alone during breastfeeding can affect mood and some mothers experience a surge in oxytocin, which is the bonding hormone which can enhance feelings of closeness and well-being. So sometimes it could be a good emotional impact. However, fusions and hormones could also contribute to mood swings, feelings of anxiety, depression in some women. So all of this just to keep in mind Pressure and guilt.
Bridget :There's often societal pressure on mothers to breastfeed exclusively for certain periods of time and this will contribute to feelings of guilt or inadequacy, as I mentioned, I felt, if you know breastfeeding does not go as planned or there are certain difficulties that you do not prepare for. Isolation Breastfeeding can sometimes be very isolating, especially if the mother feels she must always be available to feed her baby. This can lead to feelings of loneliness or being overwhelmed. It can even lead to feelings of resentment because if you are, you know directly, exclusively breastfeeding from the breast and you're feeling like your partner is getting off easy, pretty much right, like you're always doing the feedings, you're always getting up and he's just doing this or that and, although it's helpful, you feel like you're doing the bulk of the work. So with the hormones and the mood swings, it's easy. It's easy to build resentment, understandable, especially with a lack of sleep.
Bridget :Bridget did mention and touch on this but body image. So you're going to experience changes in your body and how you see your body and feel in your body and that is due to breastfeeding and this impacts your self-esteem and your mental health. Overall. I will say, given time, like a year, sometimes even 18 months out, your body should feel normal, even if you're still up on the scale in weight. Your body just feels more.
Bridget :You is the best way I can describe it, and for anyone who's hard on themselves, right after giving birth, the best advice I ever got was it took nine months to grow that big. So be easy on yourself, because you know mothers are really, with everything society today, saying bounce back. Oh, you're 30 days out. Why don't you look like you're, you know, smaller? No, it took you nine months to grow and really 10 months because it's a nine full months. You need that, plus plus some, to feel like yourself again, like why is it okay to expect that we grow slowly but we got to bounce back like a rubber band? No, it's just not. That does not make sense and it's not reality. So we also have challenges and frustrations to breastfeeding Lash difficulties, pain, low milk supply. This is extremely frustrating and emotionally taxing. So just all things to think about when you're going on this journey into motherhood.
Marissa:Yeah, a lot of people are being like I'm just over 33 weeks now. So people are like, oh, what are you going to do? And I'm like I always thought I would pump. I would try to pump, just because at least I'm doing something. I don't know. I figured, hey, I'll give it a go, maybe if I have the milk anyway, it's something to do. But I would never, was like I need to put pressure on myself to exclusively breastfeed, like I just I'm not that bothered about it, but I'm willing to try.
Marissa:Last week and I've said this so many times because if you pump, then at least you can like freeze the milk, refrigerate it. Your partner can get up in the night and help you feed, because all you have to do is reheat the breast milk. So it's not exclusively on you. I've said it to everybody. And Ted last week was like oh, but you don't want to like nurse at all directly. And I was like I mean not really. And he was like but it would really mean a lot to me, like because I think it will help you guys bond more.
Marissa:And I'm thinking I'm gonna be on mat leave like this baby and I are gonna be like white on rice, like I don't think I need any more any more bonding time with this leech. But you know, like, if that's what you want me to do, I was like for you, if you really, if it means so much, like I'll give it a go. I was like I'm not going to like stress myself out if it doesn't work and I'm just not good at it. Also, like I know you guys haven't seen me like we're not on video or anything yet I don't have very big boobs, so, which means I have pretty small nipples. Like I do not foresee myself being some like expert breastfeeder, so I don't know, you know, I'm just like I'm not putting any pressure, like if it goes, it goes, but I planned like mostly pump, you know.
Bridget :Yeah, but yeah I will say cause I did the exclusively pump route when I was trying to do breast milk. It's actually harder. In my experience and the others I've talked to who did what I did, it's actually I think breastfeeding directly from the breast is easier a little bit and I don't want to offend anyone, but I mean easier in a sense that you can just pick the baby up, you know, in the mid wee hours, and attach when with pumping it's just like I was attached to this machine on a certain level for a certain amount of time and you know people were over there and I was isolated, isolation. Here we go in a corner and it was like I can give you the PTSD sound, right, here we go in a corner and it was like I can, I can give you the ptsd sound, right, and I was like milking a cow every two to three hours. I was. I felt like a production, a milk production facility.
Marissa:I really I remember that sound still, because every time we'd be having a conversation you'd you'd be hooked up to the pump and honestly, kimmy.
Bridget :So Kimmy did both, but even she said because she did more on the breast than I did, I like I said I just did exclusive pump and she was like it's just so much easier. Marissa, you know like I'm exhausted. I'd rather just get up, put them on my breast and I'm like you're right, honestly, you're right and it's a me issue, because that's what I didn't do it for my own personal reasons, but I was, was like it's just I can't, but the machine is awful. She's right, it's got awful.
Marissa:Yeah, oh, I mean I, I'm not like gonna go in with any expectation either way. I think that sets yourself up for failure. Like I don't want to do one or the other, I'm happy, like if I have a baby that has more food demands than I can supply and you know Jerry's going to be like just give him the formula. Fine, honestly, like just make the baby go to bed.
Bridget :I was using the pump and Nicole, hey, nicole, bill Benny shout out when she would visit me. She would like to have this look of horror, like when you watch a scary movie and someone's getting murdered and cut up into pieces. I'd be like why are you staring at my tits and why do you look so horrified? And she goes the fact that it's taking your nipple and stretching it so far. She's like it's scaring me. She was like are you trying to tell me that my nipples are going to be stretched in that machine? I'm like I mean, if you do the machine, yeah, like, yeah.
Marissa:That was really hard to get used to, like watching you. I'm sorry, but it's true. Like they pull them out like a full inch.
Bridget :It was painful, and each with each kid too, you have to, like build the calluses up on the breast part. I mean, honestly, I've never asked any other mothers about this, so maybe I was using the wrong size or whatever, but for each time I'd have to build up a callus, and so the first two to three weeks of back on the machine my nipples would get bloody and like the tips would fall off and then it would come back and I'd be fine. But and I was using the linoleum and everything I was properly cleaning the machine, making sure I was moisturized and I was like, why do my tits always bleed like I hate this it was very good, yeah, that that does happen though.
Marissa:Yeah, and that that's one of the things that, like women, they get discouraged by, and they're like you know what. It's not worth it. It really hurts. It's uncomfortable for me. I will say, though, that that is even if you no matter how you breastfeed, pump or nurse directly part of breastfeeding is like your nipples cracking and bleeding like that. Even if you're the best breastfeeder, your baby takes day one. You're making tons of milk, everything's going amazing. You're bonding, you're like I'm so happy. The first couple of weeks your, your boobs are bleeding. That is just part of it. I don't know why.
Bridget :And they're super sensitive and your milk production, if it comes in you're, they're swollen and what was weird, which I don't know why, but I did kind of find it fun and relieving. But I I would enjoy waking up, since I didn't do it through the night. It would be like concrete, like as if I got like quadruple d's overnight from dr miami and they would be solid concrete. And then it felt so good to relieve it because your first pump your boobs got were squishy again and I don't know why, but that to me, that feeling is still fun. I don't know why. That sounds very nice. Oh, it felt amazing. But before the first pump you were like oh my god, I can't get out of bed.
Bridget :There's concrete cement blocks on my chest.
Marissa:I'm nervous about this, oh my gosh. So when Marissa just had Jack, we went to Philadelphia to visit our Aunt Irene and we had like a girl's lunch, like we were all drinking. We were like drunk at noon. We had like a great time and marissa was like didn't bring her pump. Like she's like I'm not doing that crap today. And by the time we got back home to our parents in jersey, like she stopped at our parents and we were in our like childhood bathroom and I had to hand express milk out because her boobs were so swollen and engorged and she's like I need and she was just like bent over a sink and I was like hand expressing. It was just shooting out. And then this is so embarrassing Like our dad was walking down the hallway and he's like what's going on in there and we're like get out.
Bridget :That was one for the sister books. Yeah, oh my God, that is so funny. Oh my god, that was before. So with my second with evelyn, I had the willow, uh, cordless. They could take anywhere, but at that time I didn't. I had the one from the wall. You had to be plugged out to an outlet, so I just didn't take it and I knew I was drinking anyway. So I was like it's all bad milk at this point I'm out of here, man.
Marissa:Oh, I love that now that you brought that up.
Bridget :Let's talk about that, that fun time. Actually it was a Wednesday afternoon, right? What did the waiter say?
Marissa:Wednesday afternoon we were absolutely sloshed at lunch, obviously Marissa, because she was like breastfeeding and everything. It was like two glasses of wine and she was drunk and the waiter brought the bill and he was just like, okay, lady, should we just run it back? Like just do it all again?
Bridget :and we were like, yeah, oh my goodness, I think he even asked us that. Right, he was like ladies, ladies, it's a Wednesday afternoon, what's going on? And you were like she's on maternity leave.
Marissa:She needs to have fun. Oh, that was such a good lunch. She was right on Rittenhouse Square. Guys recommend it. Park Rittenhouse Square. So this topic reminds me. I just saw I don't know if anyone else has seen this and it's probably an old clip because it was from, like the ellen show. Ali wong, hilarious comedian and mother, she at the time was on the ellen show, so it's like at least a year old or so, and she was talking about how she had a three-month-old. She looks incredible and had a two-year-old at the time. She was saying that the two-year-old was getting a bit jealous, as babies do. They get a bit jealous when there's a new baby in town. And she started saying like mama, I want to feed from the breast. And then she's like telling Ellen the sheer fact that you could say that sentence excludes you from being able to breastfeed also, your full set of teeth.
Bridget :I remember that interview and I love her. She's my favorite, so I watch almost everything that you know she puts out or does so. But yeah, that was a good one, so funny.
Marissa:But yeah, I just figured I'd mention her in there because she's such a great like comedian for moms and like mom guilt and everything oh yes, absolutely.
Bridget :She's just so funny if you watch any of her things on netflix hilarious, all good for maternity leave if you need a good dopamine boost.
Marissa:I know, but she kind of like makes you scared, like the first special I ever saw, when she just had her first child and she was like maternity leave, honestly, like things are dripping, things are bleeding, like your boobs are hanging, and then your friends come over and you're just like, don't look at me.
Bridget :I was like, oh my god, this sounds terrible my favorite is when she's talking about that dainty friend she had. But then she opens the door to the cul-de-sac and she's like look at this shit.
Marissa:Look what this kid did to me look at this shit look at it like and she's had two c-sections and like there it's major surgery.
Bridget :And then people are just like okay, go look after a baby I don't know how people like single moms do it, because for the two weeks I really couldn't get up without the baby being handed to me by John and, honestly, sometimes I was just so mentally exhausted. I remember when I texted you with Evelyn I had the low grade fever. When I first got home I had chills, so I was in no shape to. I was like I felt the sick so he'd had to do it all.
Marissa:Honestly, yeah, I mean, it is tough, like you really need a partner who whether it's your sister, mom, brother, literally anyone in your family or your spouse you really need someone there. When you've had a C-section, nobody realizes that the recovery is so much slower, um cause, we just tear through your insides.
Bridget :Oh yeah, oh, trust me, I know I felt it. The healing, the recovery was just very hard and weirdly I thought in my mind like a sicko, it was probably me just being like oh, it's okay, have another kid. I thought like in my mind it worked like a vaginal birth, like, oh, you know, you've done this before, bounce back. No, marissa, you're still cutting through seven layers each time. You stupid fool.
Bridget :So, in my mind. I thought going in with Evelyn was like I've cut through these seven layers before I'm going to hop up. Yeah, no, no, no. In fact, I felt like it was worse because my skin was like bitch. You already did this two years ago. Are you trying to die Like? What are you doing?
Marissa:Yeah, and they get more complex. Like the more C-sections you have in a row, they get very, very complex because of scar tissue, so it can be much more painful. You know, the first one's like a nice freebie, a freebie.
Bridget :Nice.
Marissa:Yeah, I got my punch card.
Bridget :How many? How many can I get? Yeah?
Marissa:Anyway, moving on. So I don't want it to sound like we're anti-breastfeeding, because we're definitely not. Obviously Marissa did it twice, it's just. I just want to make light of it so people understand like it's not like an end-all be-all, like you can combi feed and your baby will be fine.
Bridget :Yeah, no, yeah, I just think I, for me personally, I wish there was more people who talked about it and was more real and honest. You know I'm sick of hearing the whole oh, it's going to be so magical, it's going to be the best bonding experience of your life. Now, I'm not saying that doesn't happen for some people Probably. It just didn't happen to me Doesn't mean I don't look back at my maternity leaves and think blissfully how amazing it was. Now that I'm out of the thick of it and I forget all the hard times, I still I'm so grateful, would do it again because I'm insane, but it's just the reality of it. For me it was kind of a shit show. I'm not going to lie, it was a shit show.
Marissa:Yeah, it's very time consuming and, uh, I don't know. It's one of those things where I I just I hate bringing it up with people, because people just give you that look and they're like breast and sins and you're like, okay, I don't know. So I just try to like not even mention it.
Bridget :I really don't like when they say that, because it really makes the people who don't produce enough feel like something's wrong with them and it's just not fair because you don't have control over that. You know it's not like if I had changed my eating habits or anything, and I don't smoke. I don't have control over that. You know. It's not like if I had changed my eating habits or anything, and I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, so it's none of those things. Either I wasn't sick or anything, or and just think, like what if a mother years ago had hers removed for breast cancer and she's completely in the clear now having kids, how are you going to sit there and say breast milk is best for her? She's clearly not like. You know what I mean. She's obviously going to use formula. Her breasts are gone.
Marissa:What about adoptive?
Bridget :parents. There's that too, yep, and I just think, as long as you're feeding the kid and you're taking it to the appointments and they're, you know, looking great, you know they're growing the way they should, then that's okay.
Marissa:Exactly. Yeah, I completely agree, right, so this is a little thing that a lot of people don't know is your breast milk changes as baby ages. So the first few drops you make are called colostrum and it's often referred to as liquid gold. And even though it looks like a teeny, tiny amount literally tiny little drops that appear at your nipples, it's all a newborn needs, because their belly is super, super tiny when they're born. So as baby grows, you adapt and you do produce more breast milk and the fat levels change, the glucose level change, the protein it all adjusts to baby's needs.
Marissa:The milk you produce during the first year of life is completely different than the milk you could produce in the second year of baby's life if you continue to continue breastfeeding. However, if you choose to breastfeed beyond one year, you have to make sure you're also feeding baby solid food. Okay, you can't exclusively breastfeed for like two years. This is to develop their teeth and their jaw. Mastication is really important. If you allow your child to drink all of their meals, they will have a weak jaw, they'll be lazy and they'll be picky eaters. Also, they'll develop something called milk anemia. Pediatricians see it all the time. Babies love milk because they're used to it, so they fill up on it and they eat that instead of lunch and dinner and you go. Well, my baby's growing and they're happy, yeah, but they're not getting iron so all of a sudden they'll be really pale and tired. So milk anemia is like super common because parents are just like well, he likes milk, he fills up on it. They have to eat real food as well.
Marissa:All parents will tell you how frustrating it is when you first introduce foods like chicken Marissa, I'm sure you remember this. Kids take forever to eat it. They say they don't like it. They complain a ton. It's because chewing meat takes a long time and they get bored. It's not that they don't actually like it, they just they're. They're lazy eaters because they're new to it. So it's it's really important to introduce these solids. They develop a palate, they develop jaw strength and patience and their teeth get stronger and are used to tearing away at things like meat or harder vegetables. So it's really important. You have to introduce solids. Even if you say I want to breastfeed for many years, I love the feeling my kid will be four years still breastfeeding.
Bridget :Fine, they have to eat solid food feeling my kid will be four years, still breastfeeding.
Bridget :Fine, they have to eat solid food. Yep, yep, and don't be hard on yourself if you do all the recommended and your kid is still a picky eater, because that is what happened to me with both kids and you know, oh, for two here and what I can say is it gets better. So my first is now he just turned five, july 4th and he is actually now my best eater, when originally he was my worst. So it just got to a point where I would say around three and a half four, we just started saying like, nope, now you eat with mommy and daddy makes we don't make you something special and you will try a different veggie with us, you know. And now he's my best eater at five. Um, and now we're working on the other one. She's about there because she'll be three in October and that's where where we're going to kind of be like no, no, no, you now eat what we eat, where we had given you leniency for all these years, but no more.
Marissa:Yeah, it's. It's hard because obviously at a certain point you just want them to eat anything. You just don't care. Remember when Jack would only eat the peanut butter sandwiches and it was like fine kid, as long as you're eating, because they're just so tiring, agreed honestly, due to the opposites of their personalities.
Bridget :I feel like jack was really easy on the. You know the transition. I do um believe that evelyn will not make it so easy on us. I think it will be a battle, a lot of eye rolling, a lot of screaming, crying, but it's just like you know, I can't continue to give in. I don't want to have a 21 year old only eating peanut butter sandwiches, bananas I think that's honestly maybe some chicken nuggets here and there. She doesn't eat a lot. Oh, she eats yogurts. I'll give her. I'll give her that she's good with yogurts and her little coconut milk yogurts.
Marissa:Oh, I'm surprised because when she was a little little baby, she was a good eater she flipped they.
Bridget :Well, it was weird because he was a picky eater, now he's's good and she was a good eater and now she's so picky, unbelievably picky it gives me a headache.
Marissa:But I just you know.
Bridget :I just go through it, gotta brave through it, but she's a little bit sassy now, you know, as a practically three-year-old. The problem with her is my first was a people pleaser, so if I ask him to do something, even if I have to say it more than once, he will do it. And because he says, because I love you, mommy, okay, that's great. Love you too, hon. This one tells me no, and if I try to like come back at her, she'll roll her eyes and like do a smirk. You ever see those, you ever get in a fight with someone and you're so angry, but they're smiling. That's my daughter and I'm like smile one more time, girlfriend. Hey, sir to god. So yeah, it's fun time.
Marissa:I can't wait to witness this. I am flying home two weeks from today and I can't wait oh, it's fun, it's a fun time.
Bridget :Yeah, I tell her to go to time out. She willingly goes. Now she has fun in time out. So now I'm like great, now what do I do? Because she loves time out, she thinks it's a vacation, a spa vacation apparently.
Marissa:She's like finally time to myself.
Bridget :losers, honestly like I'll tell her in my mom voice and she'll go. Okay, and if y'all haven't seen me, obviously since there's no camera, I just flipped my hair, she walks right to the timeout.
Marissa:Chair Evelyn, you, cutie, you think it's cute until it's your daughter.
Bridget :Evelyn, you cutie. Yeah, you think it's cute until it's your daughter.
Marissa:All right, everybody, let's get into it. Everyone's favorite segment is tough love with GerBear. Yeah, Gerbear, I have the pleasure of seeing GerBear in person at the end of this week. I will see her. Oh, when this episode drops, Geri will be in England with me.
Bridget :Yes. So on that note, before we start tough love with Ger Bear, I want to say next week is a big week for my sister. She's having her English baby shower, so therefore we will be skipping an episode, but you'll still get content. What we will be doing is I'm going to have someone over there, while she's there, little bits and pieces of her English baby shower, and I will kind of put all that together with music and put it on our socials and you'll be able to see that.
Marissa:We will leave you with a question how do you guys feel about breastfeeding? Were you breastfed? Did you breastfeed? Is it something you feel strongly about? And please write back to us about it and we'll talk about it in the next episode we record Absolutely.
Bridget :All right, so let's get into this.
Marissa:Let's do it. So we asked Geri her opinions about breastfeeding and we can't wait to share her answers with you guys. So firstly I'll say none of us were breastfed. I think she attempted a few days at Marissa, she said, but then she had to go back toeties and they just did not allow for freedom of movement like pumps do nowadays, and she was a young business owner at that time. So she literally never there was no mat leave, there was like a day literally squeezed us out and then went right back to work. So she was like I couldn't be on a breast pump. Those things were like archaic and they were huge. Nothing like you have today, no way. So that was that. We were all formula fed exclusively the whole time.
Bridget :That's funny. I think it was really popular like in the nineties, and she says it was because that was kind of like a big turnaround.
Marissa:like the late eighties and the early nineties were like mom's works, Whereas before them, like it was normal to be a stay at home mom, and so she was like, yeah, like formula was available and every like all her friends had jobs, she had a job. So she was like, yeah, like formula was available and every like all her friends had jobs, she had a job so she was like you know, you just like formula feed.
Bridget :It was so common I remember. I mean, maybe we're weirdos, but we wouldn't talk about this. As teenagers me and my friends and I think majority of my friends were all formula fed, like it was common to be like oh yeah, you were a formula baby too. Yeah, me too, you know, yeah, and guess what we're all?
Marissa:I think fine, and we're not psychos, we haven't killed our parents, some of us majority of us are good I bet you, the menendez brothers, are breastfed, okay, everybody. So it's okay, it's do it makes you happy yeah, no again.
Bridget :Fed is best. Both are work, it doesn't.
Marissa:It doesn't matter all right, so marissa hit us with the first question.
Bridget :Geri was asked what do you think about breast feeding versus formula feeding?
Marissa:In what essence? I think it's a mother's choice and neither one is better than the other. I prefer formula more consistent nutrition and less hassle, Easier on the mom. No proof one is better. I know you can pump, but the stress affects your caregiving ability also. Who benefits then?
Bridget :Good answer, Geri. Good answer, I think we agree with that. Yeah, then good answer, Geri. Good answer, I think we agree with that. Yeah, no, I agree. So then we asked her why didn't you love us enough to breastfeed us? Laughy face, obviously sarcasm.
Marissa:Because I was obviously joking because I just wanted to piss her off a little bit. So she said this is okay. Her answer is so good guys, she really flipped it on me. You need to read it in her her tone, though I'm trying. I feel like I can imagine how she would say it. So she said I loved you enough to share. You need to read it in her tone, though Breastfeeding would not have made a difference. I believe the question is the problem, not the answer. That's why the perception is wrong. Am I a bad mother because I chose not to? Either choice is 100% correct. You all were loved by many and were very independent from the beginning because you knew you would be fed and cared for intuitively from. Any family member Makes for a calmer, more well-adjusted baby and toddler. Arguments can be made both ways. I thought her answer was so good Cause she's basically saying that like we knew that we could go to anyone for the, for the milk, then for the formula. It's not just like mom, mom, mom.
Bridget :No, I agree, I agree, but that's also why I got into that guy's van and was kidnapped.
Marissa:So I'm sorry, what.
Bridget :No, I'm just kidding. I'm sorry what? No, why did you take that so seriously? No, I'm just kidding.
Marissa:I'm kidding, you're like you feed me I would go anywhere for food.
Bridget :Guys, I still do. You got food. I want to follow ted bundy and you anywhere if you offer me some food. Oh my god, that's funny. You just got so concerned. You're like is this a deep, dark family secret? I know I was like did you go for a ride around the block with the?
Marissa:fucking psycho. Yep all for some cookies and milk.
Bridget :Oh my god, I'm just kidding I I was just picking at her answer, but no, it was a. I thought it was a great answer.
Marissa:I'm just kidding I know it was a good answer. I was impressed you really did some like reverse psychology on me. Anyway.
Bridget :So then we asked her how do you feel about breastfeeding in public?
Marissa:I'm laughing now. Try to keep it private. Use rooms or blankets or covers of some sort After a certain age not at all, like over one years old, but parents' choice. I'm not uncomfortable for myself, myself more for the mom and not being able to offer her help. They're almost 20 pounds, if not larger, and 26 inches. Tough to do. They should be on solids anyway. Even the bottle and pacifier should be gone by one, my opinion only. No judgment. But they do have teeth and you want them to grow incorrectly.
Bridget :My mom's rules lol, I agree again. No, I'm not, I swear. I'm not judging you guys, but when I do see the pacifiers past a certain age, I'm like, uh, come on, come on, take it away you're just doing it for yourself.
Marissa:I think the longer you wait, though, the harder it's going to be, because they're older, they're stronger, they understand more and they can be like no, I want it, whereas if you take it when they're a baby, they have, they get over it, they forget, they don't have long-term memory. By then.
Bridget :They, literally two days later, will forget there was ever a pacifier honestly, or you could get hopefully most of you get lucky, as me and my second didn't want one ever she she actually was more colicky with it. So when one night we were like let's test this theory and we took it away from her and I want to say this was under three months of having her home, so really early on, and we took it away and she was better and I was like interesting yeah, you can with colicky babies.
Bridget :They can suck air with the pacifier and it makes them gassier yeah, no, she hated it and, uh, you know, as a true people pleasing form, I took it away from jack, maybe six or seven months old, and he did not. He was whatever you want. Mommy sparkles eyes. I'm like, okay, cool that kid is a dream, psycho is a dream. Yes, yes, equally both parts. So then we asked her one more question, and it's how do you feel about women who preach the gospel of breast milk and judge?
Marissa:those who use formula shut up and mind your own business, take care of your own your way. You don't know how or why which way was chosen or the amount of discussion that went into it. The guilt is unnecessary. Maybe there was a medical reason, maybe an adoption. Walk in my shoes before you cast judgment. Maybe you just need a purpose volunteer or get a job. If you know so much, why are you not more inclusive of other choices? You aren't perfect either. I have no patience for these people.
Bridget :Go world hunger we're really starting to see Geri's personality shine now as as these go on.
Marissa:This is a great answer go solve world hunger go solve world hunger, get out of here I like that answer because she's saying it's like you. You don't know what effort someone went through. Maybe someone tried and could not, and they are at their wits end. They might be on antidepressants because of this. And now you're going oh, have you tried breastfeeding?
Bridget :and you're like I could strangle you I love when she said go volunteer, get a job.
Marissa:Volunteer get a job.
Bridget :Yeah, no, I mean, I agree with her there. We should not judge others. Whatever you choose to do, that is best. I don't know what's going on in your personal life or medical issues, and it's not my place to be honest, and you do, you.
Marissa:Yeah, completely agree. Before we sign off, I have one more anecdote. You do you? Yeah, completely agree. Before we sign off, I have one more anecdote. So I had a woman on the ward who, like we, thought I can't. I think she had like a blood clot or something.
Marissa:So when you are pregnant or breastfeeding, you don't get the normal oral tablet that is anti-clots, you get like injections, and that's because you can't have the Apixaban if you're pregnant or breastfeeding. It's dangerous for baby. So this woman was like she just had gave birth and I was like, oh, she is going on these injections, blah, blah, blah and um, I can't even remember the full context, but basically the breastfeeding midwife was on that day and she was like, oh well, cause the woman was like I won't breastfeed, I want the tablets, I don't want the injections. And I said that's fine, you're not pregnant anymore. As long as you definitely don't breastfeed, you can take the tablets.
Marissa:And so I was prescribing them and this breastfeeding midwife was like, oh so she's just not going to breastfeed. And I was like I counseled her. She said she doesn't want to, she doesn't want to inject herself for the next three months, she'd rather be, it's fine. And she was like, like, so this is more important than breastfeeding, and I said her not dying of a blood clot, yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, that is more important than her breastfeeding and like, and it just pissed me off and it put me in such a mood because I was just like I'm sorry, I know you're the infant feeding midwife and you think it's so important, but like, at the end of the day, we're treating her blood clot and her baby will be fed with formula, so everybody wins.
Marissa:Yeah, see, for me that's going too far. That woman went too far to assume like that was more important, and that's where I feel like people are pushing their own opinions and agendas, and then I get annoyed that I'm like okay stop, please.
Marissa:Yeah, it really pissed me off, put me in such a sour mood. But whatever done with that now I just feel like I would leave you all on that note leave you all angered and pissed off at this stranger.
Marissa:Yeah, exactly. Well, it's been a pleasure, guys, as always, please like, subscribe, follow us on youtube at psychotic py podcast um, it's the same for instagram psychotic py podcast. And thank you, as always, for listening in and being so patient with us, as we do adjust and have some weeks off due to our schedules. Or, like I said, bridget coming here, which will be great because then we can start doing the video podcasting for you guys super excited. But really, until she gets here, it's going to be an adjustment and then, even when she gives birth, it will probably be another adjustment. So, thank you for always bearing with us and being such great followers. We love, love you all.
Marissa:Yes, we absolutely do. Let us know what you think about breastfeeding. If you have any funny stories, if you were a formula baby, let us know. Please, honestly like give us some comments on Instagram or on YouTube and we will incorporate your stories next week or in two weeks. Yes, Love you guys. Bye.